What Motherhood means to me

I’ve been reading loads of inspirational thoughts about Mother’s Day, really nice things have been written about what motherhood means to moms and to their kids. This one always gets to me

“Making the decision to have a child – It’s momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”
– Elizabeth Stone

and this is sweet and sentimental

Lost Some Memory
I think I’ve lost some memory
since _______ was born
I don’t remember sleeping late
on a lazy Sunday morn
I don’t remember quiet dinners
with candlelight and wine.
Or getting up and ready for work
and making it there on time.
I don’t remember summer days
just lounging on the beach
And those memories of “girls’ night out”
are somehow out of reach.
I don’t remember long warm baths
with bubbles and a good book
Or my favorite TV program
or a movie worth a look.
I can’t remember all those things
I spent time on yesterday
And I can’t remember life
being any other way.
And as I lay her down at night
and kiss this little girl
I can’t remember so much happiness,
such love and joy in my world.

But today I’ve been thinking about the fact that this morning, while feeding the baby I wondered aloud, why is he so upset, and Jeremy said hmmm, could be because he’s peed through his pants and I said, oh yeah, the sheets are wet and then I scooched over and fell back asleep.

Motherhood means not minding sleeping next to someone else’s peed on sheets.

If we can’t live on the Mediterranean, at least we can pretend

Last night was a rough one, baby W had some gas, not just some gas, a lot of GAS, bad gas, keeping him up all night crying gas, farting, burping, help me the only thing that will make me not cry is nursing and oops I just nursed too much and spit up all over you gas. So I had a lot of time to think.

And one of the things I thought about is how there is a strong possibility that my dietary choices are affecting this little baby’s gastrointestinal system. And maybe I should start paying more attention to what I’m eating and avoid those gassy foods (and firstly find out what those gassy foods are).

Which then started me thinking about the Mediterranean diet that has been oft discussed in the news lately. And I can really dig this diet. Maybe not as much as I dig the Asian diet, because sometimes I feel like I could live on brown rice and tofu, but I can get behind the philosophy of the Mediterraneans and their diet. Not to mention their great skin and healthy lifestyles but Yay fresh vegetables and fruits and whole grains and beans and olive oil and red wine. Boo meat and sweets…although it doesn’t say where chocolate falls into this plan. Dark chocolate of course…for the anti oxidants.

So I’m going to make an effort to walk this path. Here is dinner tonight.

yep, that’s a big ball of cheese, but it’s super fresh mozzarella. That counts, right?

The road to recovery

Okay, so my new years resolution of keeping up with this blog failed. But I was finding it next to impossible to write anything of any use about fitness or health at 30+ weeks pregnant, when all I wanted to do was sit on my butt, eat and watch old 90210 reruns. But here we are. 3 weeks postpartum and it’s time for me to get back on that horse. Time to get back outside, time to introduce my new baby to the world of Prospect Park and exercise, time to start clean eating and clean living and refocusing my attention on my self, my family and my business.

It’s been a roller coaster couple of weeks. The lead up to the birth was an exercise in frustration, discomfort and boredom. And these past few weeks following the birth have been an exhausting hormonal fiesta of baby love. I’ve been amazed at how easy it’s been to forget the exhaustion, the engorgement, the feeling of being nothing more than a baby feeding machine. But at least now I know how fleeting this time is, and how important it is to live in the moment and be as present as possible for not only the new baby but the whole family.

I don’t know what’s more exhausting, the fluctuating hormones or the sleeplessness. There have been a few days where crying seems to be the easiest thing to do. Days when I feel like the worst mom in the world because I have to focus so much attention on the new baby and Harry is getting the shaft. I went from spending all the time in the world with Harry and now we get fleeting moments of together time. And while he’s being a champ, I can tell he’s frustrated and confused. And I know it’ll work itself out and the hormones will equalize, but some days it’s hard to imagine how…and when.

The plan is to use this blog as a path to recovery. Today starts the Get Fit Challenge with Stroller Strides, we’re challenging moms to see what changes they can make in their body, lifestyle, eating habits and while I can’t join in on classes yet, I can start making changes in my life. I can write down what I eat, I can get out and go for a walk every day, practice plank, squats, kegels, I can go to bed earlier and drink more water and find the joy in spending time with my children and my husband.

And hopefully this will help alleviate my stress and nerves about how much life will change with these two kids and how I’m ever going to leave the house with these two children and my sanity again.